Sunday, April 29, 2012

Monster Protean Hybrid energy drink

The combination of energy drink and protein drink seems like a perfect match - something to give energy, hydration and that bit of protein power you need to make a workout complete.  The problem with mixing protein drinks with energy drinks is it is very seldom tastes good - and more than often ends up a chalky sour mess.  Sometimes you can find a caffeinated protein gel or shot, but except for a few varieties, it is too easy to create a drink that is more functional than fun.

Monster Hybrid Protean falls into the trap - making a drink that is functionally complete, but is not terribly enjoyable to drink.  Rather than follow in the footsteps of their smaller competitors,  They tried to go it on their own and make for a sour drink in an obnoxious package.  Which all the other protein energy drinks out there like the delicious Kronik, Boo Koo, Xapp and Protegy, there are certainly better choices.

Packaging: 6
I usually end up giving monster drinks around a 7 for packaging, because they never list caffeine and have an inane paragraph describing how whomever you are you are not Xtreme enough for this drink.  Protean is even more obnoxious because of two things: firstly, it refuses to list their other workout supplements amounts, and secondly because protean is a stupid was to spell protein.

I really despise their obnoxious corporate 40 year olds trying to write hip messages that the kids-these-days find cool.  It is not only offensive, but downright embarrassing.  I would hate to be known as the marketing guy who had to think up copy like "After raging all night, our friends at the Vegas Rehab pool party are always looking fresh poolside the next day."  So where is this vegas pool party?  What the hell are they talking about?  Are there Monster pool partys in vegas that need protein drinks?  If I would be the copywriter for Monster this crap would push me over the edge.

On top of that, they have some great ingredients in here - but the lack of how much they actually add makes this drink useless.  Yes, they do put a big 16g protein on the label, but they decide not to bother teling anyone how much quercetin carnitine, and of course caffeine there is in here.  If you re serious about using this in your workout, you could seriously be under-dosing or overdosing yourself without having any idea.

Taste:3
Worse than the packaging is the awful flavor they decided to go with.  Like all the other Rehabs, Protean is not-carbonated.  However, the other flavors all tasted unique, while this just tastes like flat plain Monster energy drink.  On first opening, it has the odor of some bad men's cologne or sickly sweet cleaning supply.  This might be the extra pear and berry in here, but the profile is still a sour berry drink.  On top of that flavor, they add the whey protein, which add a strong chalky milk flavor on top of the berry energy drink - creating something downright unpleasant.  Imagine if Monter came out with their own yogurt flavor.  This is about as close to that as you can get.

Buzz:8
There is a great amount of good things in here, like concentrated coconut water, Quercetin, L-Carnitine, ad the protein, plus the usual energy stuff too, like taurine, inositol, and B vitamins.  On top of that, they add all the electrolytes to keep you hydrated.

That being said, for the gym this has some real problems.  Firstly, even through they list caffeinated sources like yerba mate, guarana, caffeine, and black tea, there is not a whole lot of energy in here.  I would say there is only around 160 - 180mg of caffeine, not enough to really power through a big workout.

The other big problem is the 100 calories in the can.  This already tastes bad - so why bother with the 100 calories per can?  Excess unused sugar equals fat - and not that useful in the gym.  It would have been better if they just used sucralose throughout the drink so at least make it more useful for people that are actually wanting to drink this at the gym.

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