Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Knockout Low Carb Energy Drink

For value, not to mention real street cred, one of the top energy drinks around has to be Knockout Energy.  Not only do they provide uncompromising flavor and a decent buzz, they are also fun to carry around in concerts and places people care about what you are drinking.    I would pick no other drink for walking around a punk / ska show - as it seems to provide the correct amount of machismo when hanging around grungy messed-up punks.  Nothing says "Bring it on even though I am twenty years older than you but I am sure I could still kick your ass  if I was not celebrating my daughter's birthday party concert" like a drink called Knockout that has brass knuckles on the front of the can.

I know some people say punk is dead.  Those same people say ska is dead.  Those people also have no idea what is happening around them, at least according to my 10 year old daughter.  She just celebrated her birthday party by taking her and some friends to  her favorite band, an incredible post-punk ska band performing at a DIY underground concert venue.  She screamed, she moshed - she got hugs from all the bands playing that night.  As a special awesome surprise, The headliners dragged her on stage and played Happy Birthday, with tears of joy running down her face.  As her father, it was my duty to keep up in the pit with kids 20 years younger than me who did not have a fever and allergies going too. As the song goes, "Here I am, getting older all the time, looking older all the time, feeling younger in my mind" Fortunately, me and two cans of Knockout Low Carb saw me through her birthday night - through the concert, and even into the late-night early morning birthday piƱata destruction afterwards.


Packaging:8
This is roughly the same design as the Fruit Punch flavor, which means it has a kick-your-ass fist with  with a slightly goth edge.  The only real difference is that this one is blue and features a splenda logo on it.  It has that  $1.00 starburst printed on the top corner of the can, brass knuckles and they helpfully label the caffeine content, wisely killed the asinine paragraph about how this would knock you out with energy or something dumb.  It is even Kosher as well.  With enough well placed holes  (hey - I am 20 years older than  anyone at the concert- I know how to cheat head crush a can), it can even be head crushed to show just how seriously hardcore you are.

Taste:9
Knockout Low Carb could have gone the safe route and just made a clone of Red Bull or Monster.  Instead this highly carbonated green concoction went for something better. Knockout  went for their own unique flavor, though it is based in what you would expect from a light energy drink.  This is still riffing off of the normal energy-drink-clone flavor, but this is much lighter and more refreshing to drink than most clones would.  This is a little sour and a little sweet, with a very enjoyable smell and an even more enjoyable aftertaste.  I was able to have the first one cold, but seeing as the Blast-o-Mat concert venue is dry (no alcohol allowed), the second one had to be drunk warm - although it was still pretty tasty.  It is all too easy to finish one can off and start craving a second right after.

Buzz:7
Like the Fruit Punch flavor, this has 160mg of caffeine, the same amount as you will find in a Red Bull or Monster.  The thing that makes this extra good is that is is low carb and high carbonation, so you can let out those big burps as you shotgun the can down to show those youngsters that just because you might be twice their age, you could still hang in the pit.  My older buddy and I managed to keep my youngster and her friends safe in the front row, even after rounds moshing, skanking and having hoards of angry sweaty teens smashed into us with every hard refrain from the Wall of Horns.  It helps that I pounded two of these during the five-band six-hour set - but the lack of calories and the excess of caffeine kept me rocking all night, and barely feeling all the bruises I would most likely find in the morning.

Punk might have started as a way to sell trousers, but watching 100 screaming sweaty and slightly bloodied mohawk and nipple pierced assholes screaming the happy birthday song to my daughter - priceless.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE KNOCKOUT ENERGY!! I bought a whole case at once because they are hard to find and sell out so quickly at the store. They are perfect in taste and do the job. You are right, the same buzz as the others so I am addicted. It makes a perfect pair with me :-)

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