Sex Chocolates

Nothing says sexy romance like making a dive for the bathroom sink.
The night was going to be special - my wife's birthday and our 17th wedding anniversary were going to be celebrated by us at 11:30, with a nice light dinner, strong cocktails, Lost boys on DVD and the kids fast asleep. I thought I would add some fun to the mix by offering her a truffle I received from the ever gracious kingofcaffeine.com called a Sex Chocolate, put out by the same company who makes Turbo Truffles.

We took a drink of the stiff margarita, exchanged anniversary presents, and I brought out the chocolate. Now I have tried a good number of aphrodisiacs in the past, and was not really concerned with this one. Sure, the herbal blend looked long and hard... to pronounce, but these Love Potions rarely... rise to the challenge.

It looked unassuming, and just a little naughty. The package with the lips and the spicy lettering worked pretty well. No listing of caffeine, but these usually don't have a whole lot. So my wife took a nibble, and I popped the rest of it into my mouth and about two seconds later our faces imploded.

All right - I might be exaggerating a little, but man do these things taste nasty! It tastes like if you take an old Whitman's chocolate truffle that is supposed to taste like vanilla or maple, one that is crumbly and stale, and pack it full of a crushed medicine tablet. What a total mood killer. So bad that I had we had to dive into our margaritas to kill the nastiness in our mouths.

I had to check the package again. Then it all made sense. This has just about everything that you could get as an aphrodisiac ingredient. It is packed with Ginkgo Biloba, Kava Kava, Damiana, Saw Palmetto, Fenugreek, Kola Nut, Valerian, Licorice, Horny Goat Weed, Sarsaparilla, Fo-Ti -Tieng, Gotu Kola, Ginger, Betel Nut, Dong Quai, Passion Flower, and Avena Sativa. On top of that, they put energy ingredients of Ginseng, Guarana AND Yohimbine. The problem with all that is there is barely enough of all theseingredients to do anything but keep you awake. There is approximately 100mgs of caffeine per chocolate, plus Yohimbine. Although this won't make you feel any sexier or feel more in the mood, it will give you at least three to four hours energy. Expect to be feeling perky enough for any nocturnal activities for a very long time.

My suggestion? Choke this down early and split this with your partner. If not, you will be left staring at the ceiling at 3AM watching old episodes of Futurama. Or even better, pass on this novelty altogether and find something more tasty and romantic.

Packaging:8 Buzz:8/Effect:3 Taste:2