Tengu Sex Drink

Whenever friends go abroad, they know what kind of souvenir I like to have. While some might collect hats, spoons, or pins, My favorite are bizarre caffeine drinks you can find nowhere in the US.Sometimes, this leads to me drinking awesome cans that have Mexican wrestlers or unique herbal properties.

So a friend recently left for Japan and brought me back... this. I have no idea what the heck this is. He said he got it at a drugstore - and from the photos below, I can tell what part of the store - right next to the condoms, sex lubes and pregnancy tests. From the very few images I got from the packaging materials, it seems clear that this is much more than an energy drink, but one that will try to keep your long red nose shiny and stiff. According to his wife, it means "Sex like a Japanese Goblin."

The big red scary goblin with the raging hard nose is called a Tengu. In traditional Japanese folk tales, Tengu are very mysterious and powerful demonlike beings which live in the deep forests. Sometimes Tengu were thought to teach Samurai or protect forests. They are very mischievous characters though, and can cause all sorts of mischief. The one on this bottle has such a big red schnoz, it has its own lens flare at the tip.

Now what could be in this drink? ITOH KAMPO, the pharma company states that this has over 20 chemicals in it. The big aphrodisiac herbs are Maca root, Tongkat Ali and Arganine. Tongkat Ali is a tree native to Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia. The root of the tree has some crazy stuff in it that can boost metabolism, raise testosterone levels and of course, supposed to increase virility. Same holds true for the maca root,which contains a chemical called p-methoxybenzyl isothiocyanate, which reputedly has many aphrodisiac properties. And unlike other sex drinks I have tried, this one actually contains a very sizeable amount of these herbs.

As for the other ingredients - it is anyone's guess. It could contain Arsenic, crushed beetle and Sperm Whale. Needless to say, I got more than just little rush of adrenalin from this - even as I was pretty sure it was not going to contain something deadly, you never know. Adventurously, I drank the bottle of brown liquid, and it went down hard. I did not taste any beetles, but a strong earthy oversweet cough medicine.

As for its effects, I definitely felt a rush of energy. While I am not sure of how much caffeine was in it, there was a definite metabolic effect, leaving me quite perky for a good couple hours. Most of the time I have had these "love drinks," the effects have been pretty underwhelming. While not getting very specific (hey - my mom and underage niece read these posts), lets just say that this little goblin delivers on his promises. If I were a sad flaccid Japanese Samurai wandering in the deep forest, I would definitely turn to a mischievous Tengu for help.