Swiss Army Chocolate

Chocolate connoisseurs are a very strange breed, but probably no less strange than caffeine gourmands. These people go FAR beyond looking at Hershey's, or even Dove Chocolates to find those perfect variety that have a depth and complexity of flavor achievable through a proprietary blend of ingredients, or rigid and unique processing. These people scour the globe for the best chocolate, like a collector of wines or balsamic vinegars.

Swiss Army Chocolates are NOT that kind of chocolate. These have corn flakes and guarana in them. This is the kind that us regular folk, the kind that still enjoy eating treats that come in "fun size" bags. I guess when your country has more soldiers per capita than any other Western democracy, and has not gone to war in 500 years, whatever they give their military to do their jobs must be good stuff. Not only do they get those cool watches and transformer knives, but they also have specialty chocolate as well. Of course the chocolate they get are not the same as these bars graciously picked up for me at World Market, but Ill bet, seeing as it is Swiss, it is still amazing. This is , after all, the same place as Lindt, the best chocolate company in the universe. And from a country where 11 kilograms of chocolate per person every year, their chocolate just CAN'T be that bad.

The people behind Swiss Army Chocolate actually got in trouble, because they have modeled their design off the bars soldiers in their army receive. Since serving in the military is mandatory in Switzerland, people there know the look very well. The trouble is that the 'Swiss Army' brand is owned jointly by Victorinox (maker of the famed Swiss Army Knife) and the Swiss Confederation. In 2004, the Swiss government went after Star Trade, the people behind the Swiss Army Chocolate. They registered with the country’s trademark authorities, But did not pay for any licensing fees for use of the name, arguing that "Swiss Army" is to generic to trademark.

That being said - I found Swiss Army chocolate is some pretty fantastic stuff, and I hope that they can get it all sorted out. It is a shame this can only be found in World Market, as this could easily be a big seller in supermarkets and convenience stores throughout the US. This chocolate has everything you could want - great chocolatey taste, great looks, and seeing as there is caffeine in it, you can't be forced to share with the kids!

Packaging:9
There are three different kinds of Swiss Army Chocolate - Dark Chocolate, Milk Chocolate and a White Chocolate as well. All are designed beautifully, looking like something you could see the Swiss army having in their pack of goodies. There is the Swiss Cross on the front, the standard thick sans-serif fonts and industrial typeface.

They even list the caffeine in here as well as a warning so you don't end up giving this one to the kiddies as a treat. Rather than them wrapping this in foil, these bars are wrapped in plastic, which do seem to provide a little more protection against the elements.

Buzz/nutrition:8
Rather than dole myself out survival portions ( what they call one block of chocolate), I thought it might be best if I ate the whole bar in one go, so I could judge the caffeine buzz in each bar (handily, the entire bar is one serving). They all contain the same amount of caffeine in them, 46mg for the bar. while it is not going to replace your coffee, that is really not bad for a little treat. I did not catch a buzz from this, as much as I felt a little more mentally alert, and made the afternoon just a little bit easier for me to get through. I actually think this might be something really cool to give the real Swiss army, something to help them out as they patrol the streets at night.
Taste: Milk:8 Dark:7 White:6
As I am not the chocolate snob I could be, my tastes are valued on the chocolates I grew up with. While I love Really Good Chocolate, I also understand the sheer joy of a melted gooey Nestle's crunch, and adore warm soft-and-crunchy Twix. I have, however, spent many hears working next to the original Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory in Durango, and have gone to my fair share of chocolate conventions, so at least I know what to expect from a gourmet chocolate bar.

Milk chocolate gets poked fun at when compared to the more mature and debonair dark chocolate. Most real chocolate snobs won't even touch the stuff. I am not ashamed of my base tastes, and my love of a good gooey soft creamy chocolate bar. I proudly buy Dairy Milk and Toblerone, The milk chocolate melts on the tongue after a little work. It tasted better than your average Hershey's, and the cornflakes definitely added a unique crunch.

Dark seemed a little too bitter - and a little simple. I like my dark chocolates to have a more complex rounded flavor that I did not find here. While this chocolate definitely is not one to brood over, it did not stick to the roof of my mouth or get sticky, there was no grittiness, and there was very little aftertaste.The chocolate pieces were soft and the break was not very crisp. Although it did not crumble when I chunked off a piece, it did not snap, like a real quality chocolate would.

The white chocolate was one of my least favorites. While I am not that partial to white chocolate anyways, this did not seem to me to be better than any regular brand name white chocolate bar full of stuff (Hershey's cookies and Creme come to mind). The white bar has coconut instead of cornflakes, which I did not like as much. While I loved the flavor of the coconut and vanilla flavors, I would have liked a more complex flavor. I missed the crunch of the cornflakes in this as well.

A big thanks to http://www.typetive.com for discovering this treat!